nice try


Having a flashing xmas tree and a lit up santa lawn ornament a week after Valentine’s day is a little overboard.

If you’re worried about your kids running up the phone bill, why would you want to get a family shared plan. Especially when it’s “anytime” minutes. I had free incoming calls on a plan a few years back and talked 5500 minutes in one month. (For the record I used exactly my 400 peak minutes. Bam.)

You’d end up paying major overages anyway, and it would mean you couldn’t talk on your own phone without paying more overage.

“One thousand anytime minutes. Enough for even the biggest talkers.” You sure about that?

Helio. Don’t call it a phone company, don’t call it a phone. Puke.

I get the marketing idea. In a way, it’s the right idea. Set yourself apart from the rest of the industry. That’s the entire point of advertising – to come up with an image, a tagline, a gimmick that separates you, makes people remember you. It just doesn’t make much sense to do it at the cost of intelligence.

I refer to my handy friend at Dictionary.com:

— tel · e · phone [teluh-fohn] noun, verb, -phoned, -phon · ing.
–noun
1. an apparatus, system, or process for transmission of sound or speech to a distant point, esp. by an electric device.

–verb (used with object)
2. to speak to or summon (a person) by telephone.
3. to send (a message) by telephone.

–verb (used without object)
4. to send a message by telephone.
Also, phone

— cel · lu · lar phone [selyuh-ler fohn]
-noun
1. a mobile telephone system using low-powered radio transmitters, with each transmitter covering a distinct geographical area (cell), and computer equipment to switch a call from one area to another, thus enabling large-scale car or portable phone service.
Also, mobile phone.

com · pa · ny [kuhmpuh-nee] noun, plural -nies, verb, -nied, -ny·ing.
-noun
7. a number of persons united or incorporated for joint action, esp. for business: a publishing company; a dance company.

I’ve left the other 16 irrelevant definitions for company out – there was no point in slogging through that.

Now. I haven’t personally encountered any Helios. However, I am going to assume that this product is an electronic device that transmits sound and speech to a distant point. Further, I’m also assuming that this product uses low-powered radio transmitters that cover a distinct geographical area and computer equipment to transfer the call from area to area. I’m certain, based on the commercials, that it is portable and can be used in a car.

As for the distributor, two clicks on the website takes me to the “Company FAQ.” I’m going to assume the company consists of multiple people, and as per their site, they are incorporated (LLC). Creating and distributing this product is probably a joint venture, as I doubt it could be done by one person.

So… It’s a phone. From a phone company.

And would you look at that. I said it and no one had an emotional breakdown, I didn’t get eaten by a whale, no frenchman stabbed me with a fork, or any other such nonsense.

Get over yourselves. Your commercials are annoying.

On top of that, your phone posts to MySpace. Nuff said.

There’s an episode of Without a Trace called “Hang on to me”. The end of the episode puts them in Detroit. Almost every show has that shot of the city to set the scene before getting on with the show.

This shot was only about 2.5 seconds long. It included the People Mover.

The People Mover is a monorail has 13 stops. It costs 50 cents. Basically, it’s for entertainment purposes only.

I actually just went to the website. I had forgotten about some of the gems. It opened in 1987 and claims a ridership of ~8,000 people per day (which is refuted by Wikipedia – evidently it’s been declining… Who would have guessed!). Each has original art – some done in tile, some sculptures, paintings, neon lights. The stations are named for the general area. Some of them (Times Square, Broadway) I would classify as wishful thinking. It appears to have somewhat reasonable access to most of the major entertainment in Detroit. But, as it starts in Detroit and ends in the same spot, you still have to drive into Detroit to get to it. Makes it useful if you’re going from one point to another within the city. Otherwise, there’s not much point. It’s also in a constant state of disrepair.

As for the show… All major cities have an el-train or a subway. So why not portray Detroit with one.

I laughed out loud when I saw it. Rewound it to make sure I saw it right. Rewound it again to share it with everyone in the apartment. Seriously. Hilarious.